Why Success Doesn’t Have to Be a Solo Journey

In my younger days, “You got this!”  was often said as a form of encouragement; but, I realize now it was also something more.


Growing up, I was often told “you got this!” So I embraced the mentality that if I was to achieve my goal and/or be successful in this society, “I” would need to work hard.


On the one hand the phrase “you got this,” served as a form motivation, but I realized later on that it also served as a catalyst to a distorted thought pattern that I needed to achieve success alone.

I was raised in a society that praises individuals who are independent, self-made, focused, and ambitious because those qualities are a part of achieving  the “American dream;” and I am also a part of a family that embraces the Japanese concept of “Gaman,“ defined as the ability to endure hardship or misfortune with dignity, patience, and resilience. The combination of western and eastern mindsets and perceptions further reinforced the belief I “had to do it alone” in order for my successes to be meaningful.

It wasn’t until my late 20’s, a graduate level master’s degree, a victim of burnout, and a lot of self reflection that my world vastly changed when I was open to receiving and hearing the phrase “I got you.”

A phrase that hit me like a train hitting a wall, as it were those words that I was searching for, but rejected, for years. I was finally seen, heard, and understood.  

As a man, the societal and cultural standards of “what a man should be” hindered by growth because I took things to extremes. I, now, realize I can be independent, self-made, focused, and ambitious AND ask for help from others.

I realize now the truth behind the phrase, “if you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” Hence, I’ve come to understand the intertwined relationship of “asking for help.”  By helping others, we also help and heal ourselves.

I believe that words “me” and “we” are so similar in their spelling because the word “me” is a part of the word “we”  -  I am who I am because of the help of others, and that is okay. And I am forever grateful.

4 Principles that guide my life
- The Power of “And”
- Redefining masculinity
- “Help” is two-way highway
- Success is a collaborative effort

-Brandon A. Shindo, LCSW