Recreating a Feeling of Home During the Holidays

​Woah! And just like that, the holidays are back. Do you happen to notice mixed emotions around this time of the year? 
For as long as I remember, every holiday season a cloud of darkness hovered over me.  While the holidays are associated with joyous times, sometimes they can be the complete opposite for people.
In 2002, the life I knew took an eventful turn when my family and I immigrated to the United States in hopes of a better life. Everything that felt like home was suddenly not there. My childhood memories, family, and meaningful belongings were all left behind. 
During this time, things like the scent of a natural Christmas tree, the Christmas lights that play the “Feliz Navidad” melody, the cold weather, and the food I eat at family holiday dinners remind me of my childhood roots in Guatemala, and a range of emotions follow. Some call it “The American Dream,” and from an outsider's perspective this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, which it is. I am beyond blessed with all the opportunities I have been granted. However, the pain, emptiness, and numbness that comes with starting a new life is something that is not often discussed. It might be that you are missing your family or friends during this time. It might be that you are longing for a nice cup of hot chocolate, champurrado, ponche, or tea with them in your home country and aren’t able to. It might be that your home does not feel like home. After all, they say that home is where the heart is, right? 
I want to invite you to reflect on the possibility of recreating a “feeling of home” during this holiday season; incorporating things that make your environment and current experience feel like home.
First, I want to start by acknowledging that the immigration experience is difficult. My story might be very different from yours, but my heart is with you during this time.
If you are going through a similar experience or feeling similar emotions, I want to share some tips to help you with navigating the holidays:
Find A Support System: Whether that be friends, coworkers, or family – find people that you can spend the holidays with.  Send them a text, make a quick call, make plans to meet. As humans we are wired for connections and there is nothing more comforting than having people who fill your cup be by your side during hard times. 
Incorporate Traditions That Have Meaning to You: Bring home to you. That could mean cooking your favorite dish, recreating a tradition that you would do at your home country, playing music that fills your soul, or anything that has meaning to you. The important thing here is that you continue to feel connected to whatever it is you are missing or needing in this moment. 
Lean Into Your Feelings: The irony of this is that you might be wanting to escape how you feel. Try to push those emotions away. Let me ask you something, have those feelings disappeared? Accepting difficult feelings is part of the hard work. Sometimes, the best thing to do is acknowledge what you are feeling, sit with it, and know that anxiety, depression, sadness, loneliness, and grief-like symptoms are common. If you notice that these emotions are getting in the way of your daily functioning and you are wanting to work on it, I encourage you to reach out for professional help. 
Be Patient with The Process: Life can throw many hurdles your way but learning to be patient with the process is vital. Migratory grief, which occurs when you experience some type of loss related to immigrating can sometimes be part of the process. Acculturation stress and the immigrant experience is also common and a process that ebbs and flows. Some days you might feel at your peak while other days you might be struggling to make it through the end of the day. However, hang on to that little piece of hope.  
I want to leave you with this quote :
“Hope is the one thing that can help us get through the darkest of times.” – Unknown Author
- Dilia Morales Monroy, MA, AMFT, APCC